Finding The Right Balance

Excerpted from A Message By Jon Alsdorf
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In our journey to build strong families in today's challenging world, one element stands out as essential: balance. Whether you're raising children, influencing grandchildren, or simply impacting those around you, maintaining the right balance in key areas of life can make all the difference.

Why Is Balance So Important in Family Life?
Raising children, being part of a family, and participating in a church community all require careful balance. It's not something that happens accidentally—it demands focus and intentionality. The book of Ephesians provides powerful guidance on this topic, particularly in chapter 6:
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother... Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
This passage itself demonstrates balance. Children are called to obey, while parents (particularly fathers) are instructed not to provoke their children but instead to nurture them through teaching and loving correction.

What Are the Key Areas That Need Balance in Family Life?
Let's explore five critical areas where balance is essential for building wholesome families:
1. Balancing Truth and Grace
John 1:14 describes Jesus as "full of grace and truth." Notice it doesn't say "half grace and half truth." Jesus came with 100% truth and 100% grace.
When we only embrace truth without grace, we become harsh and abrasive—like sandpaper people who leave others feeling beaten down. Conversely, if we only offer grace without truth, we fail to lead people toward genuine growth and transformation.
The goal is to create a family atmosphere where both truth and grace are fully present. This means speaking truth lovingly and extending grace generously—just as Jesus did.
2. Balancing Tough and Tender Love
Proverbs 13:24 reminds us that discipline is an essential expression of love: "Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but whoever loves him is diligent to discipline him." This doesn't advocate abuse but emphasizes that sometimes love must be firm.
1 Timothy 1:5 provides guidance on our motivation: "The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith." When correction comes from this place—not from anger or embarrassment—it can truly transform.
Some parents find it easier to be tough than tender, while others struggle with setting necessary boundaries. Examine your natural tendencies and work toward balance. Don't be stingy with praise when it's deserved, but don't shy away from necessary correction either.
3. Balancing Protection and Preparation
As parents, our instinct is to protect our children from every possible harm. While protection is vital—especially preserving a child's innocence in our often-corrupted culture—we must also prepare them for the world they'll eventually navigate independently.
Proverbs 22:6 instructs us to "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." This training involves both protection and preparation.
Don't wait until the last six months before they leave home to start preparing them for life's challenges. Begin early, teaching them not just what to do but why. Protect their innocence while gradually equipping them with the wisdom and skills they'll need.
4. Balancing Independence and Interdependence
Our culture often idolizes independence to an unhealthy degree. While teaching children to be self-sufficient in practical matters is important, complete independence leads to isolation and emptiness.
Romans 12:4-5 reminds us: "As in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ and individually members one of another."
The family is the perfect training ground for interdependence—learning to value others' strengths, contribute our own gifts, and function as part of something larger than ourselves. This principle extends beyond family to work, church, and community relationships.
5. Balancing Faith Instruction and Demonstration
Perhaps the most crucial balance is between teaching faith principles and living them out. The "do as I say, not as I do" approach never works—it only teaches children to dismiss our words.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 outlines the process of spiritual formation: "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work."
Children need both clear instruction in biblical truth and authentic demonstration of that truth in our lives. When our words and actions align, we gain spiritual authority that makes our influence powerful and lasting.

Life Application
The foundation of influencing others—whether your children, grandchildren, or neighbors—is allowing Christ to influence your own heart first. You cannot lead others where you haven't gone yourself.
This week, consider these questions:

• In which of these five areas am I most out of balance? What specific step can I take to move toward greater balance?
• How am I demonstrating faith to those around me, not just instructing them? Are there inconsistencies between my words and actions that need addressing?
• Beyond my immediate family, who in my sphere of influence needs to see this balanced approach to faith and family? How can I intentionally impact them?
• Have I fully committed my own heart and family to Christ? If not, what's holding me back?​

Remember, you don't need to be perfect to make a difference. God's grace is sufficient, and He brings far more strength to this process than we ever could. When you commit your family to Him, He will show you the way and teach you how to shine His light in a dark world.
Take a stand today. Purpose in your heart to build a wholesome family that reflects Christ, even in a broken world. With the Holy Spirit's help, it's not just possible—it's promised.