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Excerpted from A Message By Jon Alsdorf
In a world filled with brokenness, creating a wholesome family can seem like a daunting task. Yet this is precisely what we're called to do - to build strong families that shine as beacons of hope in our culture. Regardless of your role - parent, child, grandparent, or church member - understanding how to create a winning family team is essential. What Makes a Family a "Winning Team"? A winning family isn't one that never faces challenges. Rather, it's a family that perseveres through thick and thin, operating on the strength that Jesus provides. When we build families focused on Christ, we have an incredible opportunity to let our light shine in a culture where family experiences often include brokenness, pain, and regret. The apostle Paul gives us guidance in Ephesians 4:1-3: "I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you've been called. With all humility and gentleness, with patience bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." This passage reveals two essential principles for building a winning family team: How Do Successful Families Handle Weaknesses? Unstoppable families bear one another's weaknesses. Every family has them - there's no such thing as a perfect person, perfect children, or a perfect church. Sometimes our expectations are higher than the people around us are prepared to meet. In 1 Peter 3:7-9, we're told: "Finally, all of you have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil, or reviling for reviling. But on the contrary, bless. For to this you are called, that you may obtain a blessing." These qualities - unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, tender heart, and humble mind - are essential tools for bearing with one another's weaknesses. Any family that doesn't implement a liberal forgiveness policy will struggle in the long run. How Did Jesus Handle Our Weaknesses? To understand how to bear with others' weaknesses, we should look to Jesus as our model:
How Do Winning Families Leverage Different Personality Types? Unstoppable families understand and value one another's strengths. Every family member has unique personality traits that contribute to the family's success. Like a cruise ship needs different roles to function properly, families need different personality types: The Captain Strengths: Take-charge problem solvers who are competitive, confrontational, and enjoy change. Weaknesses: Can be direct, impatient, busy, and sometimes insensitive. Communication Style: Direct, blunt, one-way communicators who struggle with listening. Needs: Recognition, responsibility, problem-solving opportunities, and challenges. Growth Areas: Adding softness and becoming better listeners. The Social Director Strengths: Optimistic, energetic, motivational party planners who are always looking to the future. Weaknesses: Can be unrealistic, impatient, manipulative, and may lack follow-through. Communication Style: Inspiring, optimistic, enthusiastic, but often one-way. Needs: Approval, opportunities to verbalize feelings, visibility, and social recognition. Growth Areas: Being more attentive to others' needs and balancing optimism with reality. The Steward Strengths: Warm, relational, caring, loyal people who enjoy routine and are great peacemakers. Weaknesses: May miss opportunities due to comfort in routine, sacrifice their feelings for harmony, and hold grudges. Communication Style: Indirect but good two-way communicators who listen and speak well. Needs: Emotional security and an agreeable environment. Growth Areas: Learning to say "no" and confronting issues in a healthy way. The Navigator Strengths: Accurate, precise, focused on quality control, discerning, and analytical. Weaknesses: Can come across as critical, strict, controlling, or pessimistic; may lose sight of the big picture. Communication Style: Factual, detail-oriented two-way communicators. Needs: Quality and exact expectations. Growth Areas: Understanding that total support isn't always possible and developing flexibility. Special thanks and consideration to the late Gary Smalley and the Smalley Relationship Center and Institute for the above material. Why Should Families Understand These Personality Types? Understanding these personality types gives families:
Life Application This week, take time to identify and discuss the personality types within your family. Consider these questions:
Challenge yourself to value every family member's individual strengths while leveraging your own strengths for the sake of your family. Remember that a winning family team isn't one without weaknesses - it's one that understands, helps, and extends grace in the face of those weaknesses.
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Excerpted from A Message By Jon Alsdorf
We live in a broken world filled with competing voices trying to influence us, our families, and our nation. Some voices are trustworthy, some aren't, and many leave us uncertain. As Christians, we need practical tools to raise families and influence those around us in this challenging cultural landscape. No matter who you are—married or single, parent or not—you influence people. Your influence extends to your immediate family, church family, coworkers, neighbors, and beyond. What Does the Bible Say About Being Imitators of God? In Ephesians 5:1-2, Paul writes: "Therefore be imitators of God as beloved children and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." This is our primary job in this world. God leaves us here after salvation not to struggle aimlessly but to imitate Him—specifically, to imitate His love. God knows exactly what we're made of and isn't asking us to do something impossible. He's calling us to love like He loves because we are loved by Him. How Can I Strengthen My Family's Foundation? Here are five specific ways to strengthen your family and supercharge your influence: 1. Learn to Appreciate the Uniqueness of Every Family Member Philippians 2:3-4 instructs us: "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." This runs counter to our culture's emphasis on self-promotion. When we put others first:
Jesus put our needs before His own when He died for us while we were still His enemies. We're called to imitate this selfless love. 2. Make Mealtime an Intentional Family Time The early church prioritized sharing meals together. Acts 2 tells us they "devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and prayer." Something special happens when we share meals together. We naturally celebrate important events with food because it creates connection. Don't wait for special occasions—make regular family mealtimes part of your identity. This might mean:
Fathers and grandfathers, make it a habit to verbally express why you love your family members. Never assume "they know" without saying it. You can't say it too much! 1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to "encourage one another and build one another up." Romans 15:5-6 refers to God as "the God of endurance and encouragement." When you encourage your family, you're imitating God's character. 4. Let Your Children See You Putting Each Other First There's something powerful that happens when children see that their parents' relationship is a priority. Contrary to modern parenting advice, putting your marriage first actually benefits your children tremendously. One of the greatest gifts you can give your kids is confidence in your marriage. Don't wait until they're asleep or gone to prioritize your relationship—let them see it. For single parents: Let your children see the primacy of your relationship with God. Don't keep all your spiritual practices private. Let them witness you building your life on the rock of Jesus. 5. Pray Often Together This is actually the most important foundation-building practice. Make prayer a natural part of family life rather than a last resort. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us: "Don't be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Start simple:
Life Application If you implement these five practices, you'll build a family foundation that can withstand whatever comes your way. A life founded on Jesus Christ doesn't have to fear the future or constantly adjust to the present, because He never changes—He is "the same yesterday, today, and forever." This week, choose one of these five areas to focus on:
Excerpted from A Message By Jon Alsdorf
In times of cultural trauma and personal pain, we often find ourselves spinning, unsure of where our feet will land. The recent events - from the Charlie Kirk assassination attempt to school shootings - have left many of us reeling, searching for solid ground in a world that seems increasingly chaotic. When tragedy strikes, our initial reactions rarely represent our best selves. We tend to make common mistakes that only prolong our suffering rather than lead to healing. But there is a better way forward - a path to authentic healing that can transform not only our lives but potentially our culture. Common Mistakes We Make When Hurting Before we can find healing, we need to recognize the unhelpful patterns we often fall into: Withdrawing and Isolating Ourselves When pain hits, many of us retreat. We shut out the world and try to process our hurt alone. But Proverbs tells us it's foolish to isolate ourselves. Withdrawing doesn't help the hurt - it just sustains it. The pain doesn't go away; it simply stays buried within us. Lashing Out at Others Pain can make us angry, leading us to give everyone "a piece of our mind." Scripture warns that "a fool gives full vent to his fury." This approach damages relationships and provides no real relief. Panicking and Spiraling Like an airplane in a stall, we can start spinning emotionally, caught in doom loops about the world and our future. This spiral is hard to recover from and keeps us trapped in anxiety. Playing the Blame Game America's favorite pastime during tragedy is finding someone to blame. We exhaust ourselves pointing fingers, yet accomplish nothing meaningful in the process. Masking Feelings with Anger or Denial Particularly for men, anger often feels stronger than admitting sadness or grief. But masking our true feelings with anger doesn't make us stronger - it makes us weaker and less connected to reality. Making Destructive Choices Many turn to addictive or compulsive behaviors - old habits, self-medicating, or self-soothing pursuits that provide temporary relief but ultimately leave us in the same mess. How Do We Find Authentic Healing? Turn to God First If there's one message our culture needs right now, it's this: turn to God. This is where all the help, answers, and healing exist. Isaiah 42:17 says, "Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth... for I am God and there is no other." The world that doesn't know God will never turn to Him until the world that does know God demonstrates what that looks like. Acts 3:19-20 reminds us: "Repent, therefore, and turn back that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord." No matter how far our culture has strayed, God's grace is sufficient. There is no point of "no return" with God - He is always ready to receive those who turn to Him. Be Real with God About Your Fears American culture often celebrates fearless bravado and self-reliance. But God calls us to a life of dependence on Him, not macho independence. 1 Peter 5 instructs us to "humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God... casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you." We don't need to "get it together" before approaching God. He already knows our mess and loves us anyway. Philippians 4:5-7 promises that when we bring our anxieties to God, "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." This is the peace we're desperately searching for. Express Your Trust in God Out Loud It's not enough to believe in your heart - you need to say it out loud. When you verbalize your trust in God, it helps align your heart and mind. Your brain has ears, and it needs to hear your confession of faith. Your spouse, children, parents, and friends need to hear you express your trust in God. Psalm 27:13-14 offers a powerful confession: "I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage." Even in the darkest times, like Jeremiah experienced when writing Lamentations, we can declare: "The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." Review the Things That Never Change When everything seems to be falling apart, we need to remember these unchanging truths:
Our culture is looking for real answers in the midst of chaos and pain. The bridge across our divided nation won't come through politics or courts - it will come through the church of the living God demonstrating authentic healing. This week, I challenge you to:
The answer to our cultural trauma isn't political - it's spiritual. As we find authentic healing in Christ, we can offer that same healing to a world desperately in need of hope. |
Apply it!Next Steps is a collection of articles drawn from the sermons of Pastor Jon Alsdorf, and guest speakers, written to help you connect God's Word to real life. Each post is designed to inspire, challenge, and encourage you to live out your faith in practical, everyday ways -- because following Jesus is more than words, it's actions. Archives
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