Building a Strong Family Foundation in a Broken World

 Excerpted from A Message By Jon Alsdorf

​   We live in a broken world filled with competing voices trying to influence us, our families, and our nation. Some voices are trustworthy, some aren't, and many leave us uncertain. As Christians, we need practical tools to raise families and influence those around us in this challenging cultural landscape.
    No matter who you are—married or single, parent or not—you influence people. Your influence extends to your immediate family, church family, coworkers, neighbors, and beyond.

What Does the Bible Say About Being Imitators of God?
    In Ephesians 5:1-2, Paul writes: "Therefore be imitators of God as beloved children and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
    This is our primary job in this world. God leaves us here after salvation not to struggle aimlessly but to imitate Him—specifically, to imitate His love. God knows exactly what we're made of and isn't asking us to do something impossible. He's calling us to love like He loves because we are loved by Him.

How Can I Strengthen My Family's Foundation?
Here are five specific ways to strengthen your family and supercharge your influence:
1. Learn to Appreciate the Uniqueness of Every Family Member
    Philippians 2:3-4 instructs us: "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
    This runs counter to our culture's emphasis on self-promotion. When we put others first:

• We gain genuine influence in their lives
• People are more willing to listen to us, even when they disagree
• We demonstrate Christ's love tangibly

    For parents, this means getting into what your children are interested in and listening carefully to what's on their hearts. Don't "freak out" when confronted with things you don't understand or like. When you react poorly, your children's hearts will go underground, and you'll lose influence.
    Jesus put our needs before His own when He died for us while we were still His enemies. We're called to imitate this selfless love.

2. Make Mealtime an Intentional Family Time
    The early church prioritized sharing meals together. Acts 2 tells us they "devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and prayer."
    Something special happens when we share meals together. We naturally celebrate important events with food because it creates connection. Don't wait for special occasions—make regular family mealtimes part of your identity.
This might mean:

• Turning off the TV
• Putting phones away
• Setting aside specific days for family meals

3. Dads: Tell Your Family Why You Think They're Great
    Fathers and grandfathers, make it a habit to verbally express why you love your family members. Never assume "they know" without saying it. You can't say it too much!
    1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to "encourage one another and build one another up." Romans 15:5-6 refers to God as "the God of endurance and encouragement." When you encourage your family, you're imitating God's character.

4. Let Your Children See You Putting Each Other First
    There's something powerful that happens when children see that their parents' relationship is a priority. Contrary to modern parenting advice, putting your marriage first actually benefits your children tremendously.
    One of the greatest gifts you can give your kids is confidence in your marriage. Don't wait until they're asleep or gone to prioritize your relationship—let them see it.
    For single parents: Let your children see the primacy of your relationship with God. Don't keep all your spiritual practices private. Let them witness you building your life on the rock of Jesus.

5. Pray Often Together
    This is actually the most important foundation-building practice. Make prayer a natural part of family life rather than a last resort.
    Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us: "Don't be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Start simple:

• Pray at mealtimes
• Pray before bedtime
• Ask what's on their hearts and pray about it
• Give them opportunities to pray

    Importantly, don't forget to tell your children how they can pray for you. If you never share your needs, they'll begin to think you don't need prayer—and eventually conclude they shouldn't need it either.

Life Application
    If you implement these five practices, you'll build a family foundation that can withstand whatever comes your way. A life founded on Jesus Christ doesn't have to fear the future or constantly adjust to the present, because He never changes—He is "the same yesterday, today, and forever."
    This week, choose one of these five areas to focus on:

• How can you better appreciate and affirm the uniqueness of each family member?
• What steps can you take to make family mealtimes more intentional?
• If you're a father, how can you be more vocal about why you love and appreciate your family?
• How can you demonstrate to your children that your marriage (or your relationship with God) is a priority?
• What simple prayer practices could you begin implementing with your family this week?
•     Ask yourself: Which of these five areas would make the biggest difference in my family right now? What's one small step I can take today to begin strengthening our foundation?